Coming to an end...

Well we are coming to an end here…only 1.5 months left…and I haven’t written a blog in a long time, figured that’d be a good idea. Lately I’m filled with such bitter-sweet emotions. The excitement of coming home is something I feel every day. But also the realization that I will be leaving this place that I have grown to know as “home” for the last year is rather sad. I remember being so uncomfortable and counting down the days that we had left but now it’s different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited to be coming home…I think about it a lot…which I should probably limit that…lol! But I don’t know when I’ll come back to this place or see the people I have grown to love. Even the little things that bother me I think I’ll miss just because it will mean that this experience is over. It’s been such a rollercoaster ride of emotions but it has been so great and so beneficial in multiple ways. I don’t think I could ever replace what I’ve learned this year, nor do I want to.

My Classroom 

So an update of work and such…I have finished my time as the lead teacher in the Jardin class (with 4 year olds). This was a great experience even though I couldn’t wait until the other teacher came back from maternity leave. J It had its stressful times, that’s for sure, but then it was also very rewarding at the same time. The curriculum that we teach to four year olds isn’t difficult but when it is not in the language you speak fluently, it can be. Also, trying to manage a class and keep 22 little ones in line while translating everything in your head can make a person tired at the end of the day. Thank God that the school days were only 4 hours long! J I really had to work a lot on patience, which has always been a struggle for me; those who know me well know I’m not always the most patient person. I had to learn how to be patient with the kids and also with myself, which might have been the hardest part. My Spanish had to quickly improve as well! Since I was the lead teacher, I was in charge of everything. I think this responsibility helped me a lot with my Spanish. My Spanish is nowhere near perfect, but it’s getting better, day by day, and I feel like I can usually communicate what I need to and want to, which is so great! Now I just have to keep it up when I get home!

The house of one of my students

Now to what I am currently doing at work…I am now working on Sponsorship letters that the school is sending to the U.S. and Canada. I go to the houses of students who are financially struggling to pay for their schooling. I meet the parents, see where they live, hear their stories, take pictures of them and their houses, and then later write their stories. This has been an eye-opening experience. I have been able to see where some of these kids come from and it breaks my heart. Some of the houses are falling apart or they are so tiny the whole family shares one room. It just reminds me how much we really have, it’s ridiculous. I remember begging my mom to have a T.V. in my room and whining about how small my room was as a kid, and these kids don’t even get their own rooms, and if they do, it is just big enough for their bed! It’s amazing how much you can change and appreciate when you see the poverty that is right in front of you. Also, to hear some of the life stories of these children is devastating, and they are all so young. This is when I have this inner-fight within myself. Do I withdraw all my money from my bank account (which isn’t much to us, but tons to them) and help these people out, or try and help some, or just pray? What do I do? I was going to the school everyday before I started this new work, knowing that some of the kids come from rough homes and backgrounds and feeling sorry for them but not thinking much about it and now it’s totally different. I know I can’t help everyone, and that’s not why I was sent here either, but it’s hard not to think that way. I then find myself thinking about the future. If I go home, buy a house, then I’m going to want to furnish it with nice things, spend a decent amount of money to make it “look good”. But “look good” to who? Me…probably not…sure I like that stuff…but it’s all about impressing others that come and see your things…right? What is the real reason to having such things? These are just my thoughts, please don’t take any offense to any of this…I have no problem with having nice things…I have nice things already…and I want them too…and probably will have them in the future…but this is just what rolls through my head when I see how other people are living, and when I see how truly happy and proud they are of the things they have. I feel I complain about not having the best of the best…but why? Does it really matter? Why do we always want what we don’t have, that has always been a struggle of mine…being happy with what I have, and where I am, at that moment. I could go on, but I’ll stop there. I just know that these are all things that I need to work on with God and I am thankful that he has given me what he has and shown me, through this experience, what I have and how good I have it! J

The view of Piriapolis

                             Now on a lighter note…our team just recently got back from our retreat in Uruguay and Argentina. We went to Montevideo Uruguay for about a week to spend our vacation time there together, as a team. It is absolutely gorgeous there, it was amazing! We stayed in a Hostel two blocks from the beach, toured the city a bit and ate a lot of good food.J We also went to the city Piriapolis and took a lift up to the top of a little mountain for a beautiful coastal view…amazing! It was great to spend some quality time with the team, laughing and making jokes like usual. I am going to miss them a lot when this is all over. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye to them. After our week there, we went back to Buenos Aires, where we stayed before coming to Paraguay at the beginning of this adventure, to visit the families and friends we had made there. This was so great. The people in Buenos Aires are the most loving, friendly people I have ever met. They are so accepting, and have such a visible love for God. We feel at home there and are truly appreciative of their friendships. Can’t really express how much we love them!

On our way to the airport in Argentina!!!

The group out to dinner in Montevideo!!!

For this last month and a half, I ask that you pray for me as I try to “make it count”. I want to “be here” as much as possible even though I’m excited to go home and be with friends and family again. I want the people here to know how much I love them and appreciate them and this experience that I’ve had. I want to continue to build on my relationships with my family, coworkers, and friends. It has been hard of course, like I’ve said before, but irreplaceable at the same time. Thank you for all your support and prayers, and for listening to my thoughts. Hope all is well back home, can’t wait to see you all very soon!

        I’ll leave you with scripture that my friend (teammate) Andrew has shared with me: “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”Philippians 4:15  

thoughts....

First of all, sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. I thought I’d get my lap top and I was putting off writing this until then, but it’s not coming. So here we are…

The months are flying by here, less than 4 to go, it’s kind of unbelievable. After the New Year I really decided that I wanted to make this last half count. It was easy to fall into a habit of “counting down” per say, as to when I’d get home. But as much as I miss home and at some points would give anything to be there, I know I want to BE HERE right now. I want this place to be somewhere I miss and want to come back to and think of fondly. I know every moment hasn’t been fun or easy but I’m growing here and I see God working in my life and I’m am making relationships with some really great people.

I have found some things out about myself that I don’t know if I ever would have seen at home. It’s funny when you’re home and COMFORTABLE and you know your routine, everyone else does too, and how you respond and react to things. And then you get taken out of that and put somewhere else where everything is different and changed, and you have to adjust and confront yourself in many ways. Or, you root yourself in your old ways and find yourself unhappy. I’m not saying I never resort to the comfortable, because I do, and I think that’s almost how we are wired. But I’m trying to think about the uncomfortable and just jump in. I have discovered so many things that I want to work on within myself and I know it’s going to be life long, but I’m so thankful I’ve had this experience to open my eyes to those things.

I’ve recently taken over my Jardin class of 22 four year olds. The teacher I was an aid to had her baby 3 weeks ago. This suggestion of me teaching while she was on maternity leave was brought up about 3 to 4 months ago and never again. Which I was apprehensive about because of the language barrier. Then, on the 1^st day of school, I was informed, in front of all the parents, that would be their child’s teacher. J Talk about surprised! I’ve learned that that’s how things just go and you role with it. I’ve also started teaching 1^st, 2^nd, and 3^rd graders English for one hour three days a week. I do this before I go into my class of energetic four year olds. J This class takes a lot of patience. It’s one thing to teach and try to control a bunch of four year olds when you speak their language fluently; it’s even more challenging when you don’t! But I’m trying to work on staying calm and loving them when they’re driving me crazy, because they need that. Our school is the only place where the majority of these kids get to know Christ. So my goal is to love them and show God’s love to them as much as I can.

At this point I find myself thinking about what it’s going to be like to come home, how different it will be. I know God will help me re-adjust just like he has here. The things I think about are, will I go back to the way I was before because it’s normal, my friendships (they might change or not exist anymore), how will I feel about money? I’ve seen how people live who don’t have much and they’re so happy. I just think about the fact that if I eat a meal at the school and I don’t like it, and am still hungry later. I can go buy something somewhere else because I have that ability and the resources. But, a lot of the people I know here don’t! And they eat it because it’s food without complaints. We have so much and we don’t even realize it! It’s just hard to know a balance in how I should live when I’ve seen poverty first hand, and this is just one example. Also, a job is something I think about. I am coming home and going to try to jump into my career! Ahh!!! That is scary! At times I envy my teammates because they are all going home to go to college, just sounds easier and more fun. J But when I start to worry I try to focus on the fact that God has a plan for me and I don’t need to worry about it. I just need to have FAITH in Him.

There are so many things that I’ve been thinking about and want to share but it’d take a lot of writing. I’ll be home soon enough to share them with you all in person. I’ll leave you with a few quotes from my devotional that have been encouraging…love you all and miss you lots…see you soon!

*When you choose a course along with My will, nothing can stop you.

*Obstacles will occur but don’t be discouraged.

*I create stress when I want a result now instead of waiting for God’s timing.

*When I hope in God I will be protected from depression and SELF-PITTY.

*God is my ever present help when I am weak.

One of my prayers….

Lord, I ask you to show me your path forward moment by moment. I pray you help me to slow down and enjoy your pace and enjoy this journey in your presence.